I can't be anybody but me

"You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here"-"Desiderata", Max Ehrman,1920s

That is one of my favorite quotes. Every time I feel out of place, I tell myself that. I am exactly the way I am supposed to be. Back in Denver there were still times I felt like I didn't belong. Overall though I felt like I was home. Now that I'm back in Montana, I'm starting to feel like I'm out of place and different again. One of the reasons I was so happy in Denver was I was around a lot more open minded people. I was away from the judgmental eyes of family and so-called friends. I found a freedom there I had never felt before. Being free, and feeling free is a very treasured thing for me. Things weren't perfect in Denver. I was afraid to write, or share my modeling photos with to many people. I've never been a mainstream person and many people would argue I'm too open. I'm happy the more open with the world I can be. I recently read a piece of advice by a fellow bi-polar blogger that said to not be afraid of being open. I have to agree with it because when it comes down to it, I am who I am. People can like or not like me; love me or hate me, they can approve or not approve. This is me take it or leave it. I make mistakes, I make bad decisions. I'm ok with that. I'm happy over all with my life. I'm not happy staying shut down, quiet, and trying to make everybody else happy. I'm sorry to any of my family who disapproves of what I write from now on, or the modeling that I do, or my artwork, or my tattoos, or the way I dress. I love you and you are blood, but I don't need your approval. To any of my friends who may not like what I do, you don't need to be in my life. I still love you but I understand if it makes you uncomfortable. I don't mean to be bitchy here, and I'm not saying that anyone has recently and openly judged me like this. I'm saying that I've been holding back and I don't want to anymore. I like who I am, and if you don't, well, I'm not sorry.